A Birthday Bucket List
This to-do list includes perfume related activities.
Last October, during my 29th birthday drinks in Antwerp, someone at the table (most probably me) came up with the idea of creating a list of things that needed to be done before I turned 30, celebrating the upcoming final year of my twenties. My phone, open to my Notes-app, was then passed around the table and my guests wrote an interesting variety of things for me to do. All this was written down anonymously, but I have guessed the majority of the idea-to-writer combinations. And yes, I do judge some of you weirdos who wrote stuff down, hah!
By sharing this to-do list here on the newsletter I’m making it official and somewhat public knowledge that during the following months, up until October, I will be making a point of ticking things off this birthday bucket list.
Some of the listed activities are thoughtful and did make me feel seen and heard. For the rest, you will soon understand why I’m finding this very funny. However stupid the rest of the list is, I will do all the things anyway, as I keep my word and did choose to invite these hooligans to my birthday. (I love you all, very much!)
To make some of the things doable, I made slight changes together with Mariina, my best friend, who unfortunately wasn’t present at this particular party but will now serve as a judge to this project. I called her now on Valentine’s day and, together, we fine-tuned the list. So here you are. Find the original birthday bucket list below with new versions and explanations of each task underneath each point.
The Birthday Bucket List
Launch your first perfume
Starting off extremely ambitiously! I do have a plan to bottle my very first perfume creation and hopefully have it available for friends to smell and test out during my birthday. Maybe I will host a launch party for it?
On my video call with Mariina I showed her a bottle of perfume I got specially mixed in Amsterdam at a place called Sultan Parfum, which was my first idea regarding this. More options will be tested out soon.
Parachute
”Who wrote that down? Do these friends really know you? Don’t they know that everything that can possibly go wrong often happens to you?” was Mariina’s immediate response and I do agree with her.
This means I will not be throwing myself out of a plane, as I intend to stay alive. As an option to this, we came up with the idea for me to try out a Wind Tube in Helsinki. It’s apparently something people do as practice to parachute, I heard. Mariina happily promised that she would go with me.
Have a Happy Ending at a Massage
With a deep sigh I explained that this must have been inspired by my tradition of getting a birthday massage.
Both Mariina and I came to the conclusion that if I am unable to get a nice massage from a possible future partner in the next upcoming months, I will have to settle for a normal massage and hope I get some free essential oils or crack a joke with the masseuse before I leave the spa, so that I feel happier. Pff, hahaha.
Rivinvaihto with me + transrivinvaihto
This task made no sense at all. Not in any language. It is probably the result of a couple of drinks combined with my phone’s Finnish keyboard.
However, this gibberish task was ultimately roughly translated by us into: I have to either go line dancing or enjoy a gay club night with this particular birthday guest before turning 30. “Rivinvaihto” means spacebar or changing lines in Finnish. “Rivi” means a line. Line, line dancing. Spacebar, bar, gay bar. Voilà.
Launch a Youtube Channel
I’m terrified of this task (even more so than going into a wind tube) mainly because I don’t want to become a YouTuber or an accidental influencer. I will, however, make a Youtube Channel for the newsletter and probably post little clips related to future posts. I could test out the audio and video features here on Substack, and maybe it will help gain followers? All tips for this are welcome. (And.. No, I will not become the next Jeremy Fragrance.)
Take a Self Portrait Everyday
I adore this task, but found out very quickly that it’s quite hard to start and execute. Especially as, being somewhat of a perfectionist, I don’t want this to be just a “selfie with my phone every day” kind of thing. I also learned that I don’t take pictures of myself that often, even for friends (except funny ones in the morning with my hair standing up, which I pointed out during our call)
As a result this task will be changed to me taking a proper self portrait series of my liking, that I will plan and do professionally, as I would do with tests shoots. Feeling pretty excited about this and I will probably collaborate with a make up and hair artist for this one. Making it into a proper production would be fun.
Trip to Grasse, South of France
This is another favourite from the list. Grasse is renown as the centre of France’s perfume industry and has been on my mind ever since I saw pictures of the never-ending, bright purple lavender fields. I can’t wait to start planning a trip for this upcoming spring or summer. There will definitely be Youtube worthy content. Grasse could also be a possible perfume creation place. In fact, I could tick several tasks off the list at once over there.
Very exciting. Mariina said she loved Grasse and loved this task a lot, too.
Build your temple in the Finnish woods
This is a very personal task by someone who has listened closely to me going on about my autonomous project for school this semester. Explained shortly: I am building a sculpture inspired by a Sri Lankan temple and will place it in the Finnish woods.
It is a personal school assignment and my first piece of conceptual work, blending photography and olfactory art. An olfactory element will be added to the piece as well, by burning some handmade incense or juniper wood. I just made my first mock-up of the piece and now am wondering if I should write a separate newsletter about the process and idea. I love my friends, thank you to whoever wrote this.
Ride a camel into the sunset
Moving on to some of the more grandiose ideas on the list. I was supposed to go to Lanzarote this February and had a solid plan to do this task over there, but unfortunately had to cancel the whole trip due to some mixup with school. And if I’m being honest, the camel farm over there did not look very ethical and I did feel slightly uneasy at the idea of supporting it. So the cancellation was fine.
After brainstorming for a bit, Mariina and I came up with an alternative for this task that I will do at an amusement park in Helsinki. No animals will be harmed. Stay tuned.
A telling screenshot from the recorded video of our call. Get spit on by a llama
My friends are crazy. This is by far the most outrageous thing I have to do, yet weirdly I am looking forward to seeing how it goes.
After some howls and giggles Mariina accepted that getting spit on by an alpaca will also be considered ok for this task. And, if I don’t annoy the animals enough for them to spit on me, I can spit on them to call the task fulfilled.
Do mushrooms
I do wish to have a better experience with magic mushrooms, someday. Especially after last time terribly failing. (It included a lot of emotions and mistaking a nearby cow as a person, etc.)
A very doable task, which is actually pretty nice. Let us hope for a more relaxed and stress-free outcome this time. Next summer, a sunny day at my childhood home in Finland, some close friends and surrounded by nature. Sounds good to me.
Go to Berghain
Berghain is a known techno club in Berlin, which I doubt needs any separate introduction. I definitely want to go and experience the notorious sound system and energy of Berghain. At the end of March I’ll be travelling to Berlin, so we shall see if I find myself over there.
An alternative for this is simply a fun night out in Berlin at any club of choice.
Have a threesome
Oh god, was this wishful thinking from some of you?
Mariina said “Maybe, Milja, you should start from the basics and just try to have a twosome before turning 30.” Hahahah, well, damn. I have standards, which is a very good thing!
Vogue Magazine
This was written without any other description. I think I will definitely hunt down and try to buy an old Vogue from October 1995, the year and month I was born. After a quick Google search I think my favourite cover is the Vogue Germany cover with Yasmeen Ghauri. There’s also one with Demi Moore in short hair, which I love, too.
Adoring the person who wrote this, who seems to have really high hopes for me and my work.
Pet a crocodile
Someone got inspired by the previous camels and llamas, clearly. For this task I have tracked down a pet crocodile and will possibly try to have a photoshoot with it, if all goes well.
“Do your friends in Antwerp want to kill you?” asked Mariina. Does seem like it. If my idea for this falls through I will have to be a bit creative. Suggestions for alternatives are very welcome.
Learn enough French to have a decent conversation
My friends in Antwerp clearly like to roast me, too. I think I will start my French Duolingo lessons now, as soon as possible, hoping that I can survive during my trip in Grasse.
As a side note to my French speaking friends: Please let’s talk more in French and try your best not to giggle or feel too bad for me. I’ll never learn if I don’t speak!
Get a nude portrait or drawing done
Love this task and it feels perfect for the occasion of soon turning 30. As I’m surrounded by talented artists at school, it wasn’t hard to find someone who wanted to draw me and who I trusted enough to feel comfortable to collaborate with.
I asked for a more abstract portrait that still feels real and fits my style. Very excited to see the results.
Get a tattoo
(I’m sorry about this Mama, but it will happen.) However, the tattoo will be very, very small because of my pain threshold being non-existent. It will also be in white too, so not very visible. I will probably cry. Getting a tattoo feels symbolic though, and I will plan it well so I won’t regret it later.
It’s either this or I shave my head on my 30th birthday.
Some conclusions
This newsletter was surprisingly personal and pretty random, but I felt it was suited to be published here. Not only is this some kind of a birthday countdown, this post is also a celebration post, as Ms. Tonka Bean is celebrating 100 subscribers! Thank you all for the support, I deeply appreciate it.
With the popularity of Substack now growing, I have felt slight pressure in writing posts that are informative, witty and wise. This one is the total opposite, which will hopefully break the push to be perfect.
See you soon and wish me luck!
Bisous,
Milja
Sounds very alternative, but I love it! 💕